Far From Grace: A love story
by Jtoasn
Summary: 'I was thrown far from grace, but I have fallen into something greater... love.' LokiOC.
1. Chapter 1

1

Falling

It's the last thing I feel

Memories echo in my head.

_I could have done it father. I could have done it. For you. For all of us. _

_No Loki._

And my brothers voice.

I can still hear it crying out even through the stars.

_Loki No!_

But I let go and I fall far.

Far from grace.

Far from home.

To Earth.

What is my fate?

What awaits me on the other side?


	2. Chapter 2

2.

She walked out onto the balcony; the wooden floors were cold against her bare feet. He stood with his back to her; she observed the messiness of his dark hair as he looked across the ocean.

"Perhaps I'm imperfect, an unwanted son and a betrayer."

Her knees felt weak, so she leant against the door, she didn't think her legs would support her for much longer. But she had to hear him speak, even if it was the last thing he could give her.

"Someday... someday maybe I'll go back; I'll stand taller and walk freer in Asgard than I ever have in my life; without hurting anyone, without being a burden. But for now..."

He was only three steps away, but she felt so far from him, despite his sweet words.

"Amanda, I want us to be together, I want... I want us to _live_ together, _be_ together, share our troubles and desires and I want... I want to _stay_ together. I want to stay with _you_."

She had tears in her eyes as she raised the gun, her hands shaking.

"I love..."

BAM!

Amanda woke from her dream, woken by the doors slamming open on their hinges. She ran to close them and her clothes became wet as she resisted the bombardment of the rain and the wind.

She sighed and looked out of the doors, trying to recall a dream she had just had. But it was no use, the dream was gone.

In a moment, she would go back to bed and dream that she were flying across the Oceania, seeing the world as just a blur of blue. But something caught her eye. Across the balcony and past the sand dunes, a body.

"What in the world...?"

Another person would have hesitated, called the police, called _someone _for help. But not Amanda, she had always been the one to do impulsive things.

She barely put a raincoat on before rushing outside, the door slammed behind her – probably denting her wall- but she continued on foot down to the beach. The wind whipped her face and her feet sunk into the wet sand, but she peered across the beach, looking for the body that she had seen from her room.

She wandered for what seemed like an hour before, in a flash of lightning, she saw the outline of a body.

"Hey!" she screamed, but the wind took her voice, "HEY!"

Kneeling down beside the stranger, she saw him in tattered clothes, and put her hand on his chest. She _thought _she could feel a heartbeat, but in the midst of a tempest, she wasn't too sure. She reached down and hugged him around his waist, hoisting him up, dragging (with an extreme amount of difficulty and many moments of her dropping him) to her house.

Once she had dragged him inside the house, she took a candle and lit it, always knowing that you should never turn on electrical things in the midst of electrical storms. She placed it on the coffee table and dragged the man to the couch; she lay him down and checked his pulse.

"Well, you're alive at least." She said, as lightning flashed behind her. Then she stared for a moment, she turned and took the candle from the table and leaned in closer to him, the heat must have disturbed him because he made a small noise.

She pulled away, and a gust of wind blew out the flame.

Amanda sat on the table, and lightning flashed, illuminating her and her blue-skinned stranger.


	3. Chapter 3

3.

Loki woke feeling as if he had fallen thousands and thousands of years, which he probably had. The fall had made him weak, had made him tired, he had only enough strength to conjure some clothing and find his way to Earth before everything else was lost to him.

The Earth ground felt soft.

His eyes moved under his eyelids, he was becoming more and more conscious of his surroundings; birds in the distance, the sound of waves, the wind calmly breezing through the air.

He opened his eyes and that was when he saw her; one arm on the table, her head lying on her arm, a bowl of water sitting next to her. It was then he realised there was a damp cloth on his forehead. Once, when he and his brother had watched Earth, he had seen people who cared for one another do this sort of thing, but that was a long time ago, Loki didn't think people still did that.

His hand reached up to take it away from himself when he saw his hand he froze, turning it over he was shocked to see that he was blue. Perhaps the fall had weakened him enough to make him lose his appearance... and the girl.

She was asleep, but by the look of her, she had stayed awake all night. Perhaps she hadn't seen him, perhaps he was safe, he reached over, blue hand touching her tanned...

_Rain hammered on the rooftops, the girl – Amanda- looked up as she brought the bowl of water into the living room. She knelt down next to Loki, brushing away a stray hair from his blue face as she put the cold cloth on his forehead. _

_In between the firelight and flashes of thunder, she soothed his hair and remoistened his towel. A droplet of water rolled down the side of his face and he moved slightly._

_"Remember to breathe." She whispered._

He gasped quietly as he pulled away from her, she shifted on the table, and she would soon wake and find him looking at her, his hand outstretched towards her.

So instead, Loki closed his eye and feigned sleep, his skin turning from blue to a paler shade, one more normally accepted in any world.

Soon she woke, he heard her breath and sigh and move. Then the noise stopped and Loki was unable to know what was happening, until she touched him... or almost touched him. Her fingers were near his skin, near his face, but she pulled back and only took the cloth from his forehead.

When he chanced to look, he saw that she was walking away, running her hand through her hair. She was tired, he realised, and in confusion perhaps.

Loki lay on the sofa and he too was confused. Who could this woman be? A person that cares for a man, a stranger, who is so different, so...

The phone rang.

It was such an abrupt noise, in the silence, that he jumped slightly, and then he heard her answer.

"'Allo? Qui? Yes... I know, I'll be there... yes, I'm leaving now, it's just – yes, I know, au revoir." She said, hanging up the phone, he closed his eyes as he heard her returning.

She sighed and knelt next to him again, she resisted the urge to touch him again, and merely whispered, "Don't wake up before I get back."


	4. Chapter 4

**I've rewritten chapters 2 and 3, please read those before reading chapter 4**.

4.

Amanda put her head to the door, resting there for a moment, as she breathed in and out; the day had been long and arduous. Then she remembered the stranger, he was probably still in the house, she hesitated.

She opened the door and looked around, he was gone.

Looking around, she tried to think of places where he could be, and this was when she sighed and regretted the decision of allowing him to stay in the house.

"A complete stranger..." she murmured, shaking her head.

She didn't know that he was invisible to her, watching to see what this strange woman would do. He could have left by now, he could have disappeared and only been left as a strange memory to her.

But he had been compelled to stay, compelled to repay the kindness which she had shown him – even looking like a monster.

He watched as she looked for him around the house, checking wardrobes and rooms that he had explored earlier. Loki had learned much about Amanda, her family and her love of literature and art, and yet he knew nothing of her.

When she was finally satisfied that she was alone she went into the bathroom, Loki averted his gaze as she undressed but something caught his eye. There was a marking on her skin, her back, it coiled around, black against her skin.

Symbols in the old language, symbols of alchemy, and some symbols, which he knew to be magical.

He realised he was staring.

Loki walked out of the room and down the hallway, past the kitchen and past the couch in which he had lain earlier that day. He sat outside, on the wall, and watched the sun lower itself into the water. Once he had seen this sight, with a girl he had once been in love with – he was younger then, foolish.

A door slid above him and he knew that she would see him here; he wondered what she would say, what _he _would say. All day he had wondered, and still he had thought of nothing.

It was unlike him to be so nervous, to be so, collected. But he wasn't in the sight of his father now, not in the shadow of his brother, it was strange to be so... disregarded.

"Bonjour." A voice said, he turned to see her standing in the doorway, her hair was wet from her shower and she was looking at him with caution. "Monsieur_? _Eh... Parlez-vous anglais?"

"Yes, I speak English." He said.

"Oh..." she said, both surprised and embarrassed, "I thought perhaps you were French."

"What gave you that idea?"

She shook her head, "I... I don't know."

He stood up, straightening his back, "I waited out here, I'm... I'm not too clear on what happened last night, but I woke and found that I had been taken care of, I assume that was you."

"Yes," she said, pulling her jumper closer as the sea wind brushed up against the house, "You were lying on the sand, and... you looked different."

"Well, I was unconscious."

She let out a small laugh, and ran her hand through her hair – a nervous habit. "You were, weren't you?"

"My name's Lawrence," he said, the name sounding strange and unused, she sent him a strange look, "What?"

"Nothing, it's just... it doesn't suit you. My name is Amanda."

She held out her hand for him to shake it, but he was a lord of Asgard (or at least he used to be), so he took her hand and gently kissed the back of it, "Enchanté."

Amanda pulled her hand back, a slight blush on her cheeks. "Do you know where to go? How to get home?"

He averted his gaze, but nodded, "Yes. I just wanted to say, thank you for the kindness you showed me."

"In life's uncertain voyage, I will some kindness do them." She quoted, as she looked at him, "Good luck... Lawrence."

"Au revoir, Amanda."


	5. Chapter 5

**For Ekaterina Hansing, Mussofanatic and Cally-Sama. merci beaucoup.**

5.

"_Laufey's son?" Loki asked, thoughts racing in his mind, he looked at his father._

"_Yes."_

"_Why?" he asked, "You were knee-deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?"_

"_You were an unwanted child."_

"_No." Loki said, shaking his head, "If I was unwanted... then what was I to you?"_

_Odin said nothing, and just looked down at Loki with that great eye that he had once just been happy for it to glance in his direction. _

"_TELL ME!" He roared._

"_You were an idea. I took you so that we could unite our kingdoms one day. Bring about an alliance; bring about peace."_

"_What?" he asked, his memories, all those moments, were... nothing to him._

"_But those plans no longer matter." His father said, "You are worthless now, you are nothing but a monster."_

_He looked up at his father, with pleading eyes, "Father-"_

"_I am NOT your father!" he roared back, and suddenly Loki felt himself changing. His hands were becoming large, his skin turning blue, his eyes glowing red._

"_Stop! Intruder!" Loki turned around, Thor was standing in front of him, his hammer raised, and he was looking at him, a look he reserved just for the frost giants; those cold, vacant, emotionless eyes, and completely foreign to him. _

Loki watched as the sun rose over the blue ocean, for a moment he had forgotten where he was; sitting on a beach, somewhere on Earth. Severed from the link to his father, he had never felt so alone.

Was this how Thor felt when he had been banished?

_At least he's just been banished, and he's not dead..._

The words of Thor's friends echoed in his mind, after what he had done, he didn't think anyone was even thinking about him.

"Hey!" Loki turned to see Amanda walking towards him; she couldn't possibly have known that he had been here all night; not when he had been invisible up until dawn.

"I'm going for a walk, would you care to join me?"

"I don't consider myself good company."

"Then we won't speak."

Loki had read books back in Asgard, books of the Asgardians, but his guilty pleasure had always been books of Earth. Despite all that Asgard could give to its people, and all they could make from magic, the Midgardians could make worlds and heroes from only their twenty-six letters.

As Loki walked with Amanda, he couldn't help but think that she reminded him of those books.

"You don't work today?" he said, finally breaking the silence of the past few minutes.

"I don't work on Thursday," she said, "its Thursday today."

He nodded, reminded of his brother – the origin of the day. Loki had no day for himself. When he was younger he _should've _known that something was wrong on that fact alone, but he was so naive to his father and his plans.

As he walked, he didn't notice how Amanda looked at him; curious about him, the enigma of a man who appeared out of a storm and placed perfect footprints in the sand.

"Why did you ask me to walk with you?" he asked.

"I like to walk in the morning, on good days like this."

"I mean," he said, stopping, "Why did you ask _me _to walk with you?"

She smiled and looked at his footprints, hers were crumbled and his footprints lay like perfect stones in the wet sand. "You left your shoes at the house."

Loki was taken aback by this; he hadn't even noticed he had been barefoot since he had left her house.

"I thought perhaps you didn't intend to go very far without your shoes." She said, "Most people don't."

"I'm not most people."

"Yes…" she said, looking at him as if trying to see the blue skin under his disguise, "I'm beginning to realise that."

A gust of sand whipped them and she gasped as it stung her face, she laughed and dragged her hair out of her face, "Well since you're not going far, I'm planning on having breakfast, care to join me again?"

Loki couldn't deny that he was starving; he was still weak from the fall and all the effort that it took to use his magic. And he was still so curious about her, why would she help him, even now? Surely no one was this nice.

"I… I'm sorry, I cannot, I have a query that I have to answer."

"That's fine." She said, "Do you at least want your shoes back?"

He smiled at her, his green eyes shining with a strangeness that seemed to put Amanda at ease, "I think that may be useful."


	6. Chapter 6

6.

He never really left her side that day, he watched her as she ate her meal, read a book for a while and then sat down with a glass of wine as she watched the sun set over the ocean.

He was an enigma to him as she was to him.

A puzzle, a mystery… a human.

She left the sofa and left him to mull over his question, when suddenly he heard a crash of glass. Rushing to the kitchen he saw her, doubled over in pain as she tried not to scream aloud, her wine glass broken at her feet, the red wine flowing.

Loki stepped forward but then stopped himself, he watched as she picked herself up and let out a shaky breath. After a moment she walked to the cupboard and pulled out a dustpan and brush, cleaning the mess.

The lord of mischief watched as she endured some small spasms, her hands shaking as she clutched onto the bench, and then…

He ran to catch her.

He looked at Amanda in wonder, as she lay in his arms; he put his hand on her face feeling that she was burning up. In an instant one Loki was carrying her to her bedroom, and another was preparing a bowl and towel.

It was his turn to care for her.

He put the cloth on her head and watched her as she dreamed, he wondered…

"… _and then Christian said he was only doing it to hurt my feelings and that it was all a rouse and he wasn't _really_ into the girl, and that he wasn't _really _kissing her, and… oh Mum, I _really_ do love him."_

_Amanda sat on the other sofa, listening to her sister talk about her oh-so-honest boyfriend, she let out a small sigh of sadness, knowing that her sister would infatuate over him and then find that he's been sleeping with another girl this whole time._

_Suddenly her book was snatched out of her hand._

"_What…?"_

"_I'm talking to you!" her sister screamed at her, "Why did you 'hmph'?"_

"_I… I didn't." Amanda said confused, she sighed again, suddenly very tired._

"_There! You did it again!"_

"_It's called a 'sigh' Ria. You know, '__A deep and especially audible, single exhalation of air out of the mouth or nose'."_

"_Don't use that sh- Don't hide behind your stupid books!" Ria said as she threw Amanda's book across the other side of the room, Amanda's eyes darkened slightly, "You're so useless!"_

"_Ria!" _

_Ria's eyes were brimming with tears now and Amanda felt a pain in her chest as she stood up, she hid it well with a small laughing smile, "Look, Ria, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."_

Amanda shifted in her sleep, and Loki looked at her. Some pieces of the puzzle slowly coming together as he watched her, he wondered why she had fainted, why she was in pain, and most of all, why did he care.

And then he felt guilt.

He was able to learn from her while she slept, while she never saw him and yet she could learn nothing of him. Loki was always used to doing what he wanted, taking what he needed – it was the Asgardian way after all.

No, not anymore.

He didn't want to be Asgardian anymore, and he certainly didn't want to be Jotun. So if he wasn't either or, what would he be?

He has wondered over that question all night as he sat on the balcony, watching the sun rising again.

Every now and then Amanda would shift in her sleep, and then she started to cough. Loki ran to her bedside and sat her up, she looked up at him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I… It doesn't matter now." He said, as he watched her cough into a tissue and then moved his hand away, with a small sigh.

"I'm fine."

"I'll get you some water."

"No, I'm fine." She said, trying to get up, "Honestly, I have work today."

"You're not fit for work."

"I don't need your help."

"You fainted in your kitchen, it was only by luck that I was coming back and I saw you."

"It was just an asthma attack. I get them sometimes, and why were you coming back?"

It was Loki's turn to avoid the question, "That's not important."

"Look, Lawrence, I didn't mean to upset you." She brushed her hand through her hair again, "Thank you for coming back at least, but now I really need to get ready for work."

"Yes, of course." He stood up from where he had been sitting on her bed and made for the door, she called him back for a second.

"You know you're more than welcome to stay in the house while I'm gone, I'm always worried that someone will break in if I'm not here."

He nodded and walked downstairs.

A fire burning in his heart, something so unfamiliar and unbearable, yet comforting. What was it?


	7. Chapter 7

7

She wondered about him, Lawrence, and she shook her head as she stared at her computer screen.

It still didnt suit him.

Amanda wondered about his appearance, so sudden, the blue skin, she knew she had seen it. And then yesterday, he had come and saved her like... like a hero.

_But heroes don't exist... only villians. _

She stretched and instantly coiled back as pain shot up her back, she rubbed her eyes and got back to typing.

"Are those typesheets done yet?"

"Yes, they're done," she said as she handed them to her editor, Brian, she turned back to her screen but looked back when she realised that he was still looking at her, "Is there anything else?"

"What are you doing tonight?"

"I have a.. guest," she said.

"Guest?" he said, "Well then surely one more wouldn't be too much trouble."

She looked at him, "Sorry sir?"

Brian smiled at her, in a way that other woman would think charming, "Well, I was wondering if you'd like to go over these with me, you are the best writer in the building."

"I'm a junior editor." she said, and then she smiled politely, "Perhaps another time sir."

"Please, stop calling me 'Sir', just call me Brian."

"I don't think that's really appropriate."

"You're the only one in the office that doesn't call me Brian." He said, "I do hope that after three years you would be more, _comfortable, _with me."

Amanda picked up her bag and shrugged, nonchantly, "I'm sorry, I'm just not used to it yet. I'll see you tommorow then Sir."

She walked away, knowing full well that he was watching her as she did. She hated her job, but it was a good source of income, it was the only source of income that let her stay in her house, to let her stay close to her doctor.

No, she can't think about that.

So she thought of _him _again, she had told him that she was worried someone would break into the house but nothing ever exciting ever happened here. Mostly she asked him because sometimes it was nice to have something to come home to. And this stranger, Lawrence was the nicest person she'd ever come home to.

She'd enjoy it while it lasted.

Amanda closed her eyes and waited for the elevator to reach the bottom floor, when suddenly it jolted, and stopped.

Panic rose in her chest as the lights flickered off.

"Hello?" she asked, pressing the intercom button, "Hello? Is there anyone there?"

A voice crackled to life, "Miss Amanda Olson."

She stopped at the voice, "How did you know-"

"Miss Olsen we are under the impression that you were present to a very large electro-magnetic surge in your area two nights ago."

"What? You mean, the storm?"

"Has anything unusual occured during or after that storm?"

"What? No. Of course not. Look, I need to get out of here." she said, her chest tightening, she continued pressing on the intercom button, "I need to get out."

"We'll be in contact."

And with that the lights turned on again and the elevator continued down the shaft, once she reached her car she let out a breath and calmed herself. But her heart was still hammering madly in her chest, she reached over for her inhaler and then lay back on the seat.

What just happened?


	8. Chapter 8

8

He didn't even hear her enter the house when she arrived later that afternoon, too enthralled by a book that he had found in the small library/study that she had. Reading the books, he was thrown back into his childhood, where he imagined himself in these world, fighting these battles, winning the hearts of maidens.

"It's good isn't it?" she said from the doorway.

He looked up at her, hiding his surprise, "Pardon?"

"Lord of the Rings," she said, pointing to the book, "I used to read them when I was younger, of course I didn't understand most of it at that time."

He smiled, "I was also the same, but it has been a while since I have read them..."

She nodded sadly, "Life tends to get in the way."

He put the book back into it's shelf and she told him that he could keep it if he wanted to, there were plenty more where they came from.

"Really?"

"Yes, it's not like the bookshops will ever run out of Lord of the Rings after all, not after the movies."

Loki didn't understand her meaning, but rather than ask he just nodded, "Exactly."

"Are you hungry?"

"Famished." he said with a smile, "A good battle does that to one, doesn't it?"

And then he was watching her cook, the look of devotion and concentration on her face as she made her way around the kitchen, occassionaly replying to a question that he had. Questions about books, obscure facts and then on work.

"It's just a junior position at a writing company," she said, as they finally sat down to eat.

"You don't seem to like it very much," he said, and then he smiled, "By the way you talk about it."

"Well, I don't... not really, but it pays for this house and I don't intend to leave this place any time soon." she said, she absentindly put her hand to her chest, he noticed it but didnt say anything.

He wanted to talk about it.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, it was just a bit of asthma." she said, "I get that sometimes when I've... well, when I'm under stress or pre- who could that be?"

The doorbell had rung, Loki picked up the plates and took them to the sink, leaving only the glasses of wine on the table. And then he stood and listened to her as she walked away.

It may seem strange (his brother had certainly told him so) but sometimes Loki just liked to listen to people, listen to how they walked or how they breathed, so that he would recognize them without even seeing them.

Amanda walked with a slight delay on her left foot, and for some reason that make Loki smile.

The door opened, and Amanda let out a surprised voice, "Sir! What... what are you doing here?"

Loki felt the slight anxiousness in her voice, he tured to the door as he heard a male voice.

"I thought we had plans."

"No, we didn't."

"I''m sure I mentioned I would drop by-" the man said, pushing past Amanda and into the house, Loki could tell from just the voice what type of man this was, he sounded like Fandral. "I thought you had a guest, but I don't see any- oh."

He turned to see Loki, he was standing to his full height, sitting at the table with a glass of red wine, looking at the stranger as if he was a threat that he could easily dispose of, and Loki could.

"This... is Lawrence." Amanda said, introducing Loki to the man, she stood a little closer to Loki and that reassured him that she didn't want this man here either. "Lawrence, this is my boss -"

"Brian McFowl." he said, holding out his hand to Loki, Loki took it and nearly broke his fingers, "My, that's quiet a grip you have on you."

Loki didn't smile.

"Well, I see that I've interrupted something..." Brian said as he looked at the glasses on the table, "I think I should just leave."

Amanda was surprised, she had never seen Brian leave so easily, no, he was too stubborn for that.

"Alright." she said.

"Au revoir, Amanda." he said, as he left and Amanda for an instant was reminded of Lawrence, she shook her head, no she must have been imagining it.

Loki let the man go as he walked out of the house, he felt weak, the effort to control such a mind as these types of men was exhausting.

"Are you alright?" Amanda said, putting her hands on Loki to steady him, "I think perhaps you may have had too much wine."

"Perhaps." he said, and he looked at Amanda.

Their eyes met, not like it had in all their talkings, but as two people who were getting to know each other a little _too _well, and perhaps had had a bit of wine.

"I... uh... I'll set up the guest room for you." she said, as she pulled away, turning away so that he wouldn't see the blush setting in her cheeks, "I leave early tommorow morning, so if you find that I'm not here..."

Loki nodded, "I'll make sure no one breaks into the house."

Meanwhile, Brian groaned as he saw a roadblock at the end of the road, this was not his night. He rolled down the window.

"License and registration, please."

"Anything wrong officer?" Brian asked, the policeman didn't say anything but flashed his light into Brian's eyes.

"Just routine sir, now have you seen or heard of anything strange recently?"

"No, no I don't think so."

He flashed his eyes again, this time it flashed with something blue. Brian flinched back at the light and the police officer became more stern. "Please step out of the vehicle."

"What's wrong?" Brian asked as he walked towards a small van parked nearby.

The door opened, and a man in black stepped out, "Mr. Mc. Fowl, my name is Agent Coulson. We're with S.H.I.E.L.D, we think you may have been a victim of mind control tonight.'


	9. Chapter 9

9

Lightning rumbled as the phone rang and Amanda twitched in her sleep, she reached over and grabbed her phone, "'Allo?"

"Hello Ms Olson."

"Désolé? Uh... Whose this?"

"We are just confirming that a Mr. Mc. Fowl visited your residence this evening?"

"Uh... what? Yes, he did."

"Thank you Ms Olson." the voice said before hanging up, Amanda blinked and realised where she had heard that voice from... the elevator.

She sat up in bed, sleep leaving her immediately, seeing a storm on the horizon she checked her door and made sure it was locked and then went downstairs to make sure the front door was locked as well.

Amanda had grown used to having her house being made from half glass, but she still felt scared when she was alone in the house, with nothing to protect her.

"Amanda."

His voice was gentle but she jumped slightly, putting her hand on her chest, his eyes instantly filled with panic, "Oh, it's you."

"I didn't mean to frighten you."

"No, I just got the strangest call... and I swear the man was..." she smiled and laughed it off, "Nothing, it's nothing. What are you doing awake?"

"I heard someone walking around locking the doors." he said with a smile, and she apologised and suggested that he go back to sleep and he looked at her inquiringly. "You're not going back to sleep?"

Thunder rumbled and rain pelted the house so suddenly Loki could have sworn it was planned, but he knew his father could not find him, not unless he admited it.

"No, I don't think I could anymore, I might just get a book and read."

"I might do that as well, I've finished the one you gave me."

"What?" she asked, "Already?"

"I used to love reading when I was younger, well my... my mother used to read to me, I found her voice soothing... I adore books." Loki knew why he was telling her this, he felt guilty for prying into her life too much, stealing glances at memories while she slept, but still he even surprised himself by how personal it was.

"Well, perhaps I can reccomend you a new book then." she said, and they both walked the short distance to the library.


	10. Chapter 10

10

"There's Robinson Crusoe, Treasure Island, those classic adventure books." she said, he looked at the books, all of their spines had been bent and obviously read, but some more than others, and Loki spotted a book that was rather old and had been read so much that you could barely read the words on the cover.

"What's this?"

"Oh... Frankenstein" she said, holding it closely in her hands, "I must have read this book hundrers of times."

"I... I don't think I've heard of it." he smiled at the shock on her face, "Does that surprise you?"

"I suppose it shouldn't, not many people actually time to read books when there are movies made of them." Her eyes became slightly sad, "When I was little, the characters in books, well, they sort of became my friends, my idols... I didn't have many growing up."

She smiled at him and handed Loki the book, "It is really a fantastic book."

"What are you doing tommorow?" he asked ubruptly, "Isn't it Saturday?"

"Our building has a publishing meeting every Saturday morning, it's for the news thing. I should be home - back here - um... at around 11."

"It seems an awfully long time."

"There's a lot to do and not much time to do it in." she said, "Are you sure you'll be alright for that long? There's food in the fridge, or if you want I can bring something back."

"I think I will manage fine." he said, looking down at her with those green eyes, "I want to ask a question of you."

"O-Oui" she said.

"This... device, what is it?" Loki said, pointing to a small object, "I have never seen it before."

She smiled, "It's a dock, I use it when I need to listen to music... it helps me concentrate."

"Concentrate on what?"

She didn't answer the question, Loki began to realise that when she avoided something it was to do with her condition. "Can you play something for me? Since we're not sleeping tonight anyway."

He laughed as she smiled at him, "Something relaxing then."

And soon the sound of Bach's Largo Ma Non Tanto filled the room, she smiled and turned to see Loki holding out his hand, "Would you care to dance?"

"Oh... I never could place my steps."

"I was never one for dancing either, but we shall try." he said, as he took her hand, and clumsily and slowly they danced around the study. Learning each others movements, slowly holding onto each others bodies and laughing together at their mistakes in the middle of a storm.

And then suddenly they were dancing, holding each other tightly.

He held her close and he felt her hands brush his face, "When I saw you... I could have sworn that you were..."

"I don't want you to be afraid of me." he said, "You barely know me."

"And yet..." she began, but she turned away, as lightning flashed.

Pulling her face towards him, he slowly began to turn blue. His eyes turned from their bright green to a red, the markings on his face began to appear and he closed his eyes as the transformation was complete.

She put her hands on his skin and he opened his eyes and looked at her.

Not scared, not terrified, in fact...

Their lips met hesitantly, almost as if either of them were afraid the other would run away, but as they pulled away and saw that their emotions mirrored each others, they knew neither of them would run.

"My name is Loki." he whispered to her.

She put her hand on his chest, and smiled, "Yes... that suits you much better."

They kissed again, but without the doubt or insecurity that was before, and Loki pulled her closer, deepening the kiss, her hand found his neck and played with the end of his hair.

Their bodies moved like they had when they had been dancing, but now there was no distance between them. He could feel her heartbeat as she could feel his, hammering through their bodies.

Thunder screamed around them.

_My son..._

Loki pulled back, feeling the immense presence of his father. No. Not this. He wouldn't let his father have this.

"Loki...?"

"I... we have to stop." he said, and he walked backwards, panic in his eyes as he turned back to his old self, the presence faded, he looked at Amanda, "I can never show you my true face again, and you can never call me that name."

"Why?" she said, taking his arms, "Tell me why?"

"They'll find me." he said, and he walked away from her, "I'm sorry Amanda."


	11. Chapter 11

11

Loki did not think that he would be able to sleep that night, but when he opened his eyes he found that it was morning.

He knew that she wouldn't be in the house, perhaps he was glad of this, he had to speak to his father.

The kiss last night had awoken something in him, something that perhaps he had never had, a longing for something normal, something decent, something to call his own. And his father, damn his father!

The sink nearly shattered as he hit it, he looked at it sadly and then looked into the mirror.

It was time.

As he watched, his reflection began to change, his skin turned blue, his eyes red and the markings returned. He knew how disgusting he looked, so much like a monster, and yet - his eyes glanced at Frankenstein - when he was with Amanda, and she was looking at the _real _him.

He did not feel that way.

"Father." Loki said, "I am here."

His presence filled the room, and Loki looked into his reflection to see his father standing behind him. Of course, if Loki turned around he would find no one there, it's just Odin's way.

"My son..."

"I am _not _your son." Loki said, "You must leave me alone."

"I must watch over you Loki."

"No." Loki said, "This is my life now, this is what I want it to be. Not, not some thing for you to turn your eyes to, to watch for sport."

"You are not sport."

"Then why do you insist on it?"

His father was getting angry, "You are a stubborn child! Don't you know what this will cause? What will happen if you continue on this path?"

The door opened downstairs, he had not known how long he had been speaking with his father, but Loki shot a glare at him before rushing out of the room.

His red eyes fell onto Amanda as she struggled to balance folders in her arms, when suddenly he was before her.

"Lo-" she began, but he cut her off with a kiss.

The folders fell from her arms as his lips continued with the assault, holding her tightly against him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Suddenly he let go and she looked up into his red eyes. "Hello to you too."

He stared at her, she still wasn't pulling away, she still wasn't hesitating.

"I need to see something." he said, putting her hand on her forehead, "Can I?"

She nodded and she gasped as she felt memories rushing through her head, "What are you doing?"

"Everything of me." he said, "Everything that is me, I share with you."

His voice felt far away, even though his arm was still around her waist. He watched as his memories drifted through hers, and tears started to form in her eyes. She gripped his arm tighter, he felt her pulse quicken and he pulled away, she fainted in his arms.

"I- I'm sorry." he whispered to her.

"You see?"' Odin said, "You are too much for her, you are a God."

Loki looked down at Amanda.

His father fell silent, looking at his son, "She is human."

"Then so shall I be." Loki said, "I renounce my position-"

"Loki-"

"I renounce my titles and I renounce my powers."

"Without your powers you will be seen like this forever."

Loki hesitated.

"Are you sure she loves you the way you are? Are you sure you can live with this for the rest of your life? To live among the humans in this form."

Amanda started to wake, and Loki looked at his father.

"A monster may ask for the redeeming power of Love." he said, looking at his father, "Isn't that a right that I may have?"


	12. Chapter 12

12

Amanda felt weak, as if she had run a marathon that she had not trained for, had not prepared for.

She stood by her bedside, and fell down almost immediately, images rushed in her head, the aftershocks of what Loki had done were still catching up with her.

"Amand-"

"No." she said, pulling away from him.

Loki felt his eyes widen, and he turned away to face the window, hurt and stung at her words.

Amanda stood up and saw how her words had affected Loki. She had not meant it that way, she regretted it now, it was just so hard for her to accept help, when she knew that one day that help would leave, as she feared Loki would.

"Loki, I didn't mean it like -"

"Now you're afraid of me."

But she moved forward, and put her hand on his shoulder, "That's not true, look at me, you know it isn't true."

Loki turned and faced her, a look full of concern, and no scorn nor hate, nor disgust.

"I adore you," she said, as he looked at her closely, "May God help us both, I adore you."

He smiled and looked at her, suddenly holding her, a blue hand on her face as he gauged a reaction, looking for the hesitation. "Would you adore me even in this form? Forever? Hated by everyone else. Living in hiding, feared and hated by the world."

"I could hate them all," she said, her heart pulsing, "Because I belong to you, not them-"

Suddenly fatigue hit her again.

"Amanda!" he said, as her legs gave way, he picked her up and carried her to the bed, she lay her head on his shoulder, "You mustn't strain yourself. This is my fault, I-I- I'm sorry the memory transferal was too much, it was too soon."

She smiled and put her hand on his face, "But thank you for sharing it."

Amanda looked down on the bed, his book lay on it, he had been reading through the night. She picked it up, "Can you read it to me?"

"You need to sleep."

"Then I'll sleep to the sound of your voice." she said as she huddled closer to Loki, as if he were a blue flame that kept her warm through the coldest of winters.

Loki looked at her, amazed and calmed at the words she spoke, he opened the book and began, "There is, I hope, nothing to distress you; and be assured that if a lively joy is not painted in my face, my heart is contented. Something whispers to me not to depend too much on the prospect that is opened before us, but I will not listen to such a sinister voice."

"It's him." An officer said, as he looked at Agent Coulson, "Foster was right."

Agent Coulson looked concerned, "Does he pose a threat?"

Images popped up of Loki walking around Amanda's house, his appearance normal, the last photograph showed the Ice Giant, blue and holding his hands to Amanda's temple, her face showing some pain.

"A mind trick." Coulson said into his phone moments later, "Foster was right about that too."

Nick Fury's voice drifted from the speaker.

"Loki is a serious enemy of the Earth, and we must capture him, so that he doesn't pose a threat."

"What of the girl?"

Coulson got his instructions and nodded, he looked at some agents, "Acquire her."

The soldiers nodded.

"Sir, why do we need her?" the officer at the computer asked, "She's innocent, right?"

"Mr. Jones, this business is about learning about others and learning their weaknesses, hers is one too easily found..." he said, holding up files with her name on them, S.H.I.E.L.D had been thorough, "Besides, we need bait."


	13. Chapter 13

13

"Loki!" she screamed, holding onto his hand, he tried so hard to give her his strength, but he couldn't.

She screamed again as another jolt of pain shot up her body, Loki looked at her, "Just one more big push my love. Just keep pushing."

Amanda screamed once again, pushing with all her might and then, suddenly the sound of a baby's voice filled the air. She lay down on the bed, exhausted as Loki held the child, blue skin like him. He laughed as he held the child, and he took it to a basin of water next to him, he cleaned the boy and wrapped him in a swaddle, giving him to her mother.

She lay on the bed, dripping in sweat and exhausted, but she smiled, a tired smile when Loki lay next to her, the baby crying in the middle of them, wanting milk and comfort.

"He's beautiful."

"Amanda," Loki said, "You know it means 'she who must be loved'."

She looked up at Loki, "And you are very much loved."

"What's that noise?" she asked, and then Loki became aware of it, footsteps.

The door slammed open and in ran a dozen men in army gear, Loki jumped in front of Amanda as she held onto the baby, still weak from the delivery.

"Grab him!" one of them screamed, "Take the child!"

"NO!" Loki cried out, as he continued to fight. But he was not a God, he could not defeat them as he once had, he was just a man now... and he was beated.

"No!" he screamed as he was tranquilized, "NO!"

"Loki!" Amanda screamed, as she saw Loki and her baby being taken away from her, ripped from her arms as she lay, helpless on the bed, "LOKI!"

"NO!" he screamed as he woke, he turned and panicked. Amanda was not lying next to him, she was gone. His heart shot out of his chest, his whole body was shaking, an icy cold fear entering his skin.

He shot out of bed, looking around, he couldn't see her. He looked in the bathroom, his room and then downstairs. She was gone.

Sorrow filled his whole body, she was gone, after...

"Loki, what are you doing awake?" a voice said, Loki turned.

"Amanda, what...?"

"I forgot my keys," Amanda said, "You looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake you."

And that was when Amanda saw the tears in his eyes, she reached for him, "What's wrong?"

"I thought... nothing, it's nothing." he said, turning away from her, moving away from her, "Go to work."

"Loki, you're shaking -"

"Just GO!" he yelled at her, fury in his eyes as she stepped back, surprised at his voice. He regretted it in the same instance, as she saw a sadness enter her eyes. She looked down at her keys and nodded at him.

He turned and looked back out the window, and he felt her hand on his back, "I'll be back before dinner."

Loki didn't turn, he didn't even motion to her as she left. He heard the door close as she left, the car engine begin and then leave after a few moments. He went to the door and watched her leave, the car pausing at the crossroads before disappearing beyond the hills.

He honestly didn't know why he had yelled, he had been so happy to see her, to know that she was okay. The premonition had been harrowing, and it had scared him.

Loki was angry.

Angry at himself. In the past he had never allowed his emotions to get the better of him, he had never allowed himself to fall for such a lowly trick such as fear, anger or... or love.

Love?

He looked out onto the ocean, realizing what he had just thought. He reasoned that he _must _love her, he had given up his powers for her, and his whole existence, just for her. She had accepted him as he was and he could see it in her eyes, and in her dreams - she _did _love him, and that filled him with hope. Hope for him, for her and for... their child.

He remembered holding him in his arms, his son, nothing - not even his father, Odin. Could take away that feeling, the love that he had felt with his son in his arms. But he too, was blue, what kind of child could live in a world where he would be seen as a monster. Not even in Asgard would that be acceptable, a child of a frost giant.

_Don't you know what this will cause? What will happen if you continue on this path?_

His fathers voice still echoed in his head.

Loki had always been the strategist, he knew what to do at all moments, there was always a plan. But now, in matters of love, he didn't know what to do.

"I must tell her," he whispered after a moment, "I must tell her."


	14. Chapter 14

14

"'Allo?" Amanda said as she picked up the phone, "Figle and -"

"Amanda," a voice said, "Don't react, don't panic. just pretend I'm another customer. Answer yes or no if you recognize my voice."

She frowned slightly, "Yes, of course."

"You're in danger."

"I'm sorry... sir?" She said, looking at a co-worked who walked past her, "Could you repeat that?"

"I'm working for this company, they've been keeping tags on strange phenomena, magnetic and electrical surges. They found one near your house, and they've been keeping tabs on you."

_The man in the elevator _she thought, as she ruffled some papers, "They've been in contact."

"These are dangerous men Amanda, they know about the man in your house-"

She froze, her heart beggiing to hammer madly in her chest, "What?"

"The man, Loki, they're coming after him, they're going to take him away... Amanda, I don't know what they will do to him, but you have to cooperate, whatever you do, don't resist-"

"Amanda." a voice said behind her, she jumped almost a foot in the air, turning she saw Brian looking at her, a knowing look in her eye.

"Yes?"

"You look tense, anxious." Brian said, "Is there something wrong?"

"No, no" she said, perhaps a little too quickly, "I... I don't feel well."

"Perhaps you should go home then," Brian said.

"I... I will." she said, picking up her things as she rushed out of the cubicle, he took her arm as she walked past him.

"Take it easy Amanda, you look... worried."

She snatched her elbow out of his arm and moved past him, she rushed to the elevator but stopped, not after last time. Amanda made her way down the fire escape, thankfully, not bumping into anyone.

But then she reached her car, her heart still racing in her chest. She could feel an attack coming on and she reached for her bag - in her rush she had left her spray in the office. The world turned black and she didn't feel herself hit the ground.

"Miss Oulson." a voice said, "Time to wake up."

Amanda sat up, she looked around, the last thing she remembered was her attack in the parking lot, she looked at the man standing in front of her, he was looking at her - a look like a cobra about to strike.

"What am I doing here?" she cried out, "Where am I?"

"You're in a hospital room," Nick Fury said, "Your attack left you slightly... helpless, and we can't have that can we? We just want to chat with you."

She looked down at the needle in her arm, her first instinct was to tear it out.

"Oh, I wouldn't do that," he said, "In hindsight, you should've gone for the elevator."

"What do you want?"

"We want to help, just help, that's all." Fury said.

"Help?"

"The medicine in your arm," he said, pointing to it, "Something we've been working on for a while, can you feel the difference?"

Amanda looked at him, then the needle and then looked up at him.

"It's something that we like to call, 'The Cure to tuberculosis." he said, her eyes widened, "An easily treated illness... when caught early, but you were diagnosed late, weren't you?"

She looked away from him, and then at the needle. "No, it's..."

"Your doctors said it was too late for you right?" they said, "Three years they gave you, but it's been nearly five. You're quiet a fighter."

"What do you want with me?"

"The medicine we're giving you is only half of the treatment, we have the second half here - " he pulled out a small pill, "Just one pill, and your sickness is gone."

She shook her head, "I don't believe you."

"Whether you believe us or not Miss Oulson, this is your... prize, as we might say. In return, we need the man, Loki."

She shook her head, opening her mouth to tell him that she didn't know what he was talking about , but he stopped her.

"Now don't try and deny it, we have proof. Now, he's a dangerous man, very dangerous and you would be safer if you..."

"No." she said, defiantly.

"Miss Oulson, you either hand him over in a calm manner or we will take him by force. Think very carefully about this, because we won't hesitate to eliminate him if there is any resistance on his part."

She looked at him.

"If you care for this man, you will hand him over to us."


	15. Chapter 15

15

Loki stood in the kitchen, nervous, he had been nervous before of course. On his many campaigns with his brother, and wars that he's fought in.

But tonight, no, this is an entirely new matter.

He looked at the time, it was half past six already, she was late. This made him anxious, and made him think of Brian, the boss who thought himself Gods gift to women.

Loki laughed at the irony, 'God's gift'.

He walked to the library, and ran his hand along the spines of the books, and thought of his brother. Once exiled, as Loki was, without his powers and without his title. Loki knew it had been hard for his brother, he had had obstacles which had stood in his way.

"Brother."

Loki turned, shocked as his brother stood in the library, "Thor, what are you doing here?"

"Mother sent me."

"What?"

Thor looked torn, he was trying not to look at Loki in his natural form - a frost giant. Loki was hurt, his own brother couldn't bear to see him like this, "They told you."

"I asked why you had done the things that you had done," Thor said, "I asked for the truth."

Loki held up his arms, "Well brother? Or should I even call you that."

Thor sighed, and looked around the room, with a smile he touched one of the books, "Do you remember when mother used to read to us?"

Loki said nothing.

"You will always be my brother Loki, it doesn't matter how it came to be that way, but you will _always _be my brother."

"Why did mother send you?"

"She feared you were dead, and she wants you to return," Thor said, "But I've also come to warn you, if you do not return...When I was exiled here, there were people - an agency. They're trouble Loki, and I don't want you to get hurt."

_"Grab him!" one of them screamed, "Take the child!"_

"I won't be hurt." Loki said.

"You cannot fight them all."

"Then I will tear the entire world down."

"Father has been-"

"I renounced my title, he no longer has a need to worry about me." he said, "You no longer need to meddle with us, or our lives."

Thor perked up at this, "You what?"

Loki looked at his brother, shocked that his father had not told his brother of Amanda, of what he had given up. The sound of a car pulling into the garage alerted the two Asgardians that they were no longer alone. Loki looked at the time, she was two hours late.

"Loki?" Thor asked questioningly.

"I suppose father has not shown you everything that has happened Thor, what has happened to me here." Loki said, "I have renounced my title Thor, my powers and my abilities."

"But... why?" Thor said, "Brother I've never known you to-"

"Exactly Thor, you have never known me - perhaps I have never known myself."

The door opened and Amanda's voice drifted from the hallway, "Loki?"

"Thor, I was thrown far from grace, but it seems that I have fallen into something greater..." and Loki smiled, a smile that comforted Thor and yet worried him, "Love."

Thor opened his mouth but Loki waved his hand.

"Go now brother, leave us, tell mother I have found happiness here. One day, I hope I will see you again."

And Thor was gone, Loki let out a breath and felt a tremendous weight lifted off of him. And then footsteps alerted him to Amanda, and his panic rose again.

"Loki?" She stepped towards him, "I need to tell you something."

But he turned suddenly, taking her shoulders in his hands, a fire in his eyes that she lost her will to speak. "As do I, Amanda."

"Loki-"

"Will you marry me?"

She looked up at him, shocked at his sudden words. He let out a relived laugh, "I'm sorry if it's sudden, we've only known each other for a week at most. You know I love you, and I've shared and sacrificed so much, but I did it because I love you so completely that I would give up the world for you. I would tear down this world if they dared keep us apart - you're crying."

"Loki, I... I'm afraid..."

"You don't need to be afraid anymore, not with me." he said, as he took her chin and she looked into his eyes, "I love you, and you don't have to answer n-"

But his voice was cut off by her lips, she kissed him so fiercely that he was shocked by it. But he soon got over his shock and was kissing her back, holding her tightly towards his body as the world was forgotten around them.

"I will always love you Loki," she whispered, "Until the day I die... and beyond."

"You will never leave me." Loki whispered to her, and they fell onto the library floor, together and unrestrained.


	16. Chapter 16

16.

Amanda awoke with the warmth of Loki against her skin, she watched him in the light of the rising sun, more pearly than blue this morning. Her hands had discovered every mark on his skin that night, as his hands had discovered hers.

He had asked about the tattoos on her back when they had laid resting, after their exhausting activitites. And he had told her about the magic signs and sigils that they represented, and he spoke of his magic and how long it took him to master it.

She tried to beg his forgivness at that point, apologising for taking him away from that world, the world he loved and knew so well.

But his lips had coverered hers before she could think of saying a single word.

"I love you Amanda, I always will."

She had heard those words and she knew that she would carry them for as long as she lived - and this made her sad.

Detatching herself from Loki's naked embrace she made her way down to the cellar, walls of food and wine stored there. She made her way to the last barrel and took a small gun from it, her hands were shaking as she did.

Her heart was pulsing, her lungs cramping.

She gasped as she felt an attack occuring, the medicine that she had been given had only done half it's work. But with this gun, it would complete it.

Amanda prayed, a silent prayer, before going back to the other room. She stood at the library doors, Loki stood, half dressed in a deep robe that made her sigh with longing for his touch again.

"I dreamt of my father tonight, my _real _father, Laufey" Loki said, "The words he called me, unwanted... imperfect, traitor..."

She walked out onto the balcony; the wooden floors were cold against her bare feet. He stood with his back to her; she observed the messiness of his dark hair as he looked across the ocean.

"Perhaps I'm imperfect, an unwanted son and a betrayer."

Her knees felt weak, so she leant against the door, she didn't think her legs would support her for much longer. But she had to hear him speak, even if it was the last thing he could give her.

"Someday... someday maybe I'll go back; I'll stand taller and walk freer in Asgard than I ever have in my life; without hurting anyone, without being a burden. But for now..."

He was only three steps away, but she felt so far from him, despite his sweet words.

"Amanda, I want us to be together, I want... I want us to live together, be together, share our troubles and desires and I want... I want to stay together. I want to stay with you. I will marry you if it is the last thing I do in this world."

She had tears in her eyes as she raised the gun, her hands shaking.

"I'm sorry my love." She said, and he turned and saw the gun, but she fired the gun before he could react.

The last thing in the world that he saw, was the woman he loved killing him.


	17. Chapter 17

17.

Loki stirred.

The last thing he recalled was Amanda - he opened his eyes and shot out of the bed, staggering over the green sheets of his bed. He ran to the main room, banging the door open he looked for his father, but found his mother.

"Loki!"

"What happened?" he asked, "What am I doing here? What am I doing in Asgard?"

"Loki, my son, you should be resting." Odin said, as he walked into the room, but Loki turned to him.

"Why am I here!" he roared, "TELL ME!"

"You have returned to us, that is all that matters, your title and powers restored." Odin said.

"NO!" Loki shouted, ignoring Thor as he entered the room, "I told you NOT to interfere!"

"I had no choice, the woman you were with -"

Loki yelled something at his father, incoherent but with such fury and rage that it silenced the others.

"She wouldn't, no she wouldn't."

"She called me Loki, she told me to come and retrieve you, to take you back home."

"Don't follow me," Loki said, backing away from them, "Don't come near me again."

In a flash of light he was on Earth again, on the beach where he had first arrived on Earth. He ran to the house but stopped when he lay his eyes on it.

The glass was shattered on the ground, the chairs outside were overturned outside, panic rose in his chest as he ran in, "Amanda!"

The kitchen was destroyed, plates lay shattered on the ground, but he ignored the sound of them crunching under his feet as he ran around the rooms, shouting her name, his anger forgotten.

"Amanda!"

He finally went to the library, his eyes settled on the books, every one of them were on the ground, broken and torn.

And then he saw her, lying admist the books and pages. "Amanda!"

He took her in his hands, and put his hand on her chest, her breathing was laboured, she was struggling to breathe. He put his hand on her face, "Amanda, it's me... Amanda, please wake up."

She opened her eyes, surprised to see him there, "Loki.. I..."

"Shh... I'm here now."

"I... I called your father..." she said, tears falling from her eyes as she looked up at his, "The... the day I was late I... I told him that I ..."

"You what?"

"I knew they were... that they were coming" she said, gasping in pain, "I... I didn't... I didn't want you here, when they... when they came."

"Why?" he said, angry tears running from his eyes, "I would have protected you, do you hear me? I would have protected you."

"I guess I beat... I beat you to it." she said, "I... I told you that I would always... always love you."

"Beyond death," Loki said, tears falling freely now, "But you're not dying, no... You're strong, so strong."

"You're strong too... you're so beautiful." she said, as her hand stroked his blue skin, "Mon Cœur."

He held her hand as she lay there.

"I would have married you. I would have."

Loki looked at her, and tore a chain from his neck, in a whisper of magic they turned into rings. He placed it on her finger, whispering past tears, "Beyond death, I will always love you."

Amanda started to laugh, struggling she put the other ring on his finger, "Bey- Beyond death... I will always..."

Loki looked at her, "Amanda? Amanda!"

Her eyes were closed, and Loki shook her gently, tears streaming down his face, "No. NO... please, Amanda, don't leave me."

He started to sob as he held her to his chest, her skin growing cold.

"Amanda..." he whispered, "Please, I beg you."

He looked at her face, and kissed her gently.

"No, please. Please. I need her back. I need her."

Loki felt the loneliness seeping into his bones, the solitude and the silence. But he refused to let her go, he refused to let her dissapear, not without a fight.

"Please father, please. I won't ask for anything, ever again, just give me this one thing... that's all I ask. Give me _her_."

Anger filled him, at his fathers silence.

"I know you hear me father!" he whispered through gritted teeth, "I will not bear this alone. Father. FATHER!"

"My son." a voice said, and Loki turned to see his father standing in the room, all his splendour and light lighting up the darkness in the room.

"Father please." Loki said, holding Amanda tighter, "Please, I need your help."

"She is beyond my help Loki, she has gone to Valhalla."

"No," Loki said, his voice breaking as he looked at Amanda's face, holding her face.

"Your sorrow was too great, you did not hear the Valkyries wings as they took her away."

"You're lying!" he said through gritted teeth and angry eyes, "You're lying like you always were lying with me."

"You must let her go."


	18. Chapter 18

18.

People whispered about him, he knew that they did, so he rarely left the comfort of his room and apartments.

Since that night, Loki had not been pleasant company.

He would shift his appearance at times, sometimes he was the Prince and other times he was a Frost Giant. It had sure shocked some of the servants of the house to see him, but as soon as they knew he wasn't a threat - that's when the rumors began.

"He was _never _really the All Fathers son."

"He's a demon."

"He's cursed."

His mother cried at night, begged him to speak, to do something, to contribute as he once did. But he was merely a ghost now, the ghost of a man who had lost the only woman he would ever love.

"Brother." Thor would say as he entered his brothers apartments, he would see his brother sitting in a seat, staring blankly in front of him. His form shifting, continuously, as if he couldn't settle, never settling.

Thor placed a book on the table, among the many other books that he had been bringing to his brother.

Occasionally he would see his brother reading them, but most of the time his brother would refuse to look at them, reminded of the pain of what had once gave him hope, and love.

"Mother is worried about you, we are all worried brother."

"I am _not _your brother." Loki would usually say, but today he didn't, he looked at the book that Thor had brought. He stepped forward and turned the pages, holding each one delicately as if it were a rose petal.

"Where did you get this book?"

Thor looked at his brother, and then the book, shaking his head, "What?"

"You've been going to Midgard, why? How?"

Thor had not seen so much life in his brother since he had been _that _fateful night, it startled him when he saw the passion in his eyes again.

"How did you get this book?"

Thor shook his head, "Not I brother, father did..."

And Loki was running across the marble floors, the servant arriving with his food dropped plates and they shattered across the floor.

_... he ignored the sound of them crunching under his feet as he ran around the rooms, shouting her name ..._

"Father!"

"Loki!" his mother exclaimed, surprised to see her son so lively.

Loki threw down the book on his fathers table, "Explain!"

Odin sent the servants away, and they left gladly, knowing it wasn't wise to be in the younger brothers way when he was in a mood.

"I didn't think it would take you this long to understand it." Odin said, Loki looked at him and then at the faded, worn and well-read book. The title was indecipherable, but Loki knew very well what it was, and who it belonged to.

"It's..."

"You have been moping for far too long Loki, you are not a boy anymore." Odin said, and he looked away, "It seemed _I _had to learn that as well, my son."

He looked at his father, hope gleaming in his green eyes as his father put a loving hand on his shoulder as he handed Loki 'Frankenstein'.

"Go Loki, she is waiting."

With a single breath Loki was on Midgard again, walking along an unfamiliar stretch of sand, towards a very small, humble, beautiful house.

He saw her then, in the wind she looked like a vision, but she had not seen him yet - distracted by the views that the islands had to offer, the views that reminded her of a man that she dearly loved.

She could even hear his voice, whispering his name.

Amanda gathered her scarf and turned away from the vision, and stopped suddenly as he stood before her.

"Amanda!" he exclaimed as she fell to the ground, "Are you alright?"

"I'm..." she said, as she touched his face, "I've seen your face so many times in my dreams, I... I thought you were just another."

Loki couldn't help but laugh, his hand covered hers, "No, I am real."

"Loki, I'm.. I'm sorry I had to trick you." she said, "I had to disappear, so that-"

But now it was she that he believed to be a vision, a dream, because Loki had dreamed of her, of holding her in his arms, of kissing her and loving her, and now she was here, and he was...

"You're laughing," she said, through tears as she stopped her explanation.

"Of course I am my love," he said, "My wife."

And her face broke into a smile, the ring on her finger feeling cold against the warmth of his skin and of her hands.

"Could you still have me as a husband? Here in these islands, away from the world?" he asked, "As an Asgardian? A Jotun?"

"You're not a Asgardian, Loki, or even a Jotun. Tu es mon Cœur." she said, looking at him, "You're my heart."

The sun had set, and the stars had begun to shine above them, all of them with eyes on the pair, the lovers, holding each other on the Islands of Scilly, but so far away from the world around them.

"I had dreams of you." Loki said, "Before I left, of the men that would come and tear down what we had. Take me away."

"It will never happen now, we're free from them."

Loki smiled, and kissed her, leaning his forehead on hers he whispered, "I also dreamed of a son."

She looked up at him, "A son?"

"Our son." he said, looking into her eyes, "Our family."

_A monster cannot be born into this world, it can only be made and molded into a form that others detest. But monsters can count themselves the richest of all, if love is found within their hearts. _

_To be surrounded by love, living in love and be in love, is the greatest gift one can give. _

_A monster may ask for the redeeming power of love._

**The end. **

Thank you for the journey.


End file.
